The Story of My Teeth
I’ve spent much of my life dealing with the aftereffects of a heart surgery in the early 80's. The medications I took as a child wreaked havoc on my teeth, leading to a lifetime of dental problems. By the time I was 13, the pain was so severe that I had to rely on Tylenol PM to sleep. Despite spending nearly fifteen thousand dollars on crowns and other dental work over the years, it always felt like a temporary fix for a much deeper issue.
The pain and self-consciousness about my teeth followed me into adulthood. My life took a tumultuous turn, leading to multiple prison sentences. During the last one, I got into a fight and lost a front tooth. The prison dentist, seeing that I had nine more years to serve, opted not to fix it. Instead, he suggested pulling 80% of my bottom teeth to make future procedures easier. Faced with the choice of living with a missing front tooth for a decade or getting a partial denture, I reluctantly chose the partial.
Prison life was harsh and isolating. The initial adjustment was the hardest. I was surrounded by a cast of characters, each with their own story of struggle and survival. The lack of control was overwhelming, and it took me about five months before I could sleep through the night. The Department of Corrections moved people around frequently, aiming to prevent inmates from forming close relationships with the guards or getting involved in contraband smuggling. This constant movement made it difficult to find any semblance of stability or comfort.
Despite the grim environment, I sought ways to better myself. The prison offered various programs, and I took every opportunity to learn. Completing programs not only helped me earn time off my sentence but also gave me a sense of purpose. One of the first classes I took was an introduction to Microsoft Office. Though I already knew a bit about Word and Excel, I played along to get into the class and escape the hut.
In 2016, I enrolled in an eight-month Cisco IT Essentials course. We worked on desktops running Windows Vista, learning to take apart and reassemble computers. This hands-on experience ignited a passion for technology that would shape my future. I devoured books on coding, HTML, and other IT topics from the prison library, eager to expand my knowledge.
In 2018, I got the chance to join the prison’s dog training program. The officer in charge asked a series of bizarre questions to determine my eligibility. Despite the odd interview, I was accepted and soon had an eight-week-old puppy as my cellmate. Training the puppy to obey commands and go to the bathroom outside was challenging but incredibly rewarding. The program gave me a sense of responsibility and purpose that I hadn’t felt in years. Eventually, the puppy graduated and became a therapy dog for sick children at a hospital.
In early 2020, I received another dog to train, but the COVID-19 pandemic soon put the prison on a strict lockdown. The isolation was intense, lasting until my release. During this period, I focused on my studies. Upon my release, I immediately enrolled in college and took courses in Linux, networking, coding, and PC repair. This educational journey was not just about gaining skills but also about rebuilding my life and finding a new direction. Throughout my time in school, I wore a GPS tracker.
The issue with my teeth persisted, casting a shadow over my achievements. The physical pain and self-consciousness about my smile were constant reminders of my struggles. Covering my mouth to talk was my go to move. Despite my academic and personal progress, I knew I needed to address my dental problems to truly move forward.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, masks offered a temporary shield, allowing me to hide my dental issues from the world. But as the masks came off, I faced the world with a newfound confidence. Most permanent dental procedures are very expensive, but I finally underwent the dental procedure I had long awaited two weeks ago. The cost of the procedure was as high as a German sports car, but the improvement in my quality of life was beyond any monetary value.
The recovery has been excruciating, made even harder by my recovery from opiate addiction. But the results were life-changing. For the first time, I could smile without feeling ashamed. In the near future I’ll be able to eat comfortably and speak with confidence. The simple act of smiling, something I had avoided for so long, now felt like a gift. Each day, I find myself smiling more, checking in the mirror to reassure myself that my teeth are still there. It feels like a miracle, a dream come true after so many years of pain and insecurity.
The journey was long and filled with challenges, but finally being able to smile without hesitation is worth it all. It’s not just about the teeth; it’s about the freedom to live my life fully, to engage with the world without fear or shame. This new chapter is one of genuine happiness and self-acceptance, something I had been seeking for my entire life.
In retrospect, I realize that my journey was about more than just overcoming dental problems or surviving prison. It was about reclaiming my life, finding purpose, and learning to value myself. Each step, from the hardships of prison to the joy of education and the ultimate triumph of my dental procedure, has been a crucial part of my story. I am finally able to live my life on my terms, with a smile that reflects my inner transformation.
