Human Compression
In the shadow of a bygone life, I find solace in a compression shirt — a garment that hugs me with gentle, constant pressure, much like the Thundershirts designed for anxious dogs. For the longest time, I lived in a whirlwind of chaos, a life filled with high stakes and higher risks. My days were once a blur of fast cars, designer clothes, and illicit deals, but it was the suffocating anxiety that truly defined my existence. Today, this simple piece of clothing helps me find the peace I was once desperate to achieve.
The Old Life
My journey began in a world where intelligence felt like a curse rather than a blessing. As a child, I believed my high IQ made me smarter than everyone around me, but in the real world, it meant little. Hard work and integrity were traits I scoffed at while I leaned heavily into the allure of quick, easy money from drug dealing. I filled my life with expensive cars and luxury goods, seeking fleeting happiness in material possessions.
But the adrenaline-fueled lifestyle came with its own set of drawbacks. Anxiety was a constant companion, and sleep was a rare luxury. This relentless stress spiraled into psychosis, where the lines between reality and delusion blurred. The kid with a high IQ had vanished, leaving behind a hollow shell.
The Fall and the Rise
My descent into the abyss culminated in multiple arrests and an eight-year prison sentence for drug-related crimes. Prison, a place of nightmares, forced me to confront my demons. The lack of control and the cast of disturbing characters only added to my anxiety. It took months before I could sleep through the night.
However, prison also offered unexpected opportunities for redemption. I immersed myself in educational programs, learning about Microsoft Office and eventually delving into Cisco IT essentials. I discovered a new passion for technology, a beacon of hope in an otherwise bleak environment.
Acting Brand New
One day, a guard offered me a chance to join the prison’s dog training program. Despite the bizarre vetting process, I soon found myself caring for an eight-week-old puppy. This little creature gave me a purpose, teaching me patience and compassion. Training that puppy to become a therapy dog for sick children was a transformative experience. It was a reminder that even in the darkest places, one can find light.
The Compression is Real
When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, the prison went into lockdown, and my interaction with dogs was abruptly halted. Upon my release, I threw myself into college, studying Linux, networking, coding, and PC repair. Earning my associate degree in computer science within two years, I finally felt a sense of accomplishment and purpose.
But the anxiety never fully left. That’s when I discovered the compression shirt — a tool akin to a Thundershirt for humans. Just as the Thundershirt applies gentle pressure to soothe anxious dogs, my compression shirt offers me a sense of calm and grounding. The pressure helps release calming hormones like oxytocin and endorphins, lowering my heart rate and reducing anxiety.
Reflection
Looking back on my life is like trying to remember a dream. The highs and lows, the thrill and the fear, all blend into a haze. The constant pressure and fear of my past life have been replaced by the gentle embrace of the compression shirt. It serves as a reminder of how far I’ve come and the peace I’ve found.
The crimes I committed and the harm I caused weigh heavily on me. The lives destroyed by the drugs I sold and the communities torn apart by my actions haunt my memories. But now, with every day, I strive to make amends. I’ve dedicated myself to advocacy work, using my story to warn others of the dangers of a life of crime.
A New Day
My compression shirt is more than just a piece of clothing. It’s a symbol of my transformation, a testament to the power of gentle pressure in calming the chaos within. It helps me sleep better, hold my head high, and face the world with self-respect.
The journey from a reckless gangster to a redeemed individual has been long and arduous. But with each passing day, I find strength in the small things — a compression shirt, a supportive community, and a purpose in life. As I continue to build a future grounded in legality and integrity, I carry the lessons of my past with me, forever reminded of the high price of my former life and the invaluable peace I have found in its wake
