Everything I learned From Prison
Getting arrested is never fun, but sometimes it is necessary if committing crimes is part of your life. From as far back as I can remember I felt like I was smarter than most people. In middle school, an IQ test confirmed my innate inclination. Being smarter doesn't really mean much in the real world. There are many people that work hard and enjoy the things they have. As a successful drug dealer, it was very important for me to buy two-thousand-dollar designer sneakers or one-of-a-kind sweatshirts. Perhaps my dysfunctional upbringing caused me to lean into retail therapy. A particular garment or piece of jewelry could temporarily make me happy. The older I got the stake got higher. The designer clothes wouldn't cut it any longer. Buying German automobiles made me happy. Unlike a shirt, I could use the car multiple times a day. Each time I would touch the steering wheel, or enjoy the airplane-like suspension. With every toxic behavior, there is a brick wall patiently waiting for you to run into.
The crime that sent me to prison ( a few times) was drug-related. Selling drugs is quite easy and very profitable. Being anxious twenty-four-seven and lack of sleep was what we in the biz call fringe benefits. Lack of sleep can manifest into this wonderful thing called psychosis.
What is psychosis?
The word psychosis is used to describe conditions that affect the mind, where there has been some loss of contact with reality. When someone becomes ill in this way, it is called a psychotic episode. During a period of psychosis, a person’s thoughts and perceptions are disturbed, and the individual may have difficulty understanding what is real and what is not.
A lack of sleep and a loose relationship with reality made it impossible to think logically. That kid with a high IQ was gone. There was a shell of a human in his place. A few crimes later I wound up in prison for eight years. Prison is the worst especially in the beginning. The lack of control is difficult to digest. The disturbing cast of characters you meet there… ha! is all I can say. It took me about five months before I was able to sleep through the night. The DOC move people around frequently in the hopes of preventing a ‘Jake’ situation. (When an inmate befriends a cop to starts bringing in cell phones, drugs, booze, etc for an astronomical fee.) Jake shouldn't be confused with Jeffing ( when an inmate talks too much to a cop. Rumors start about them pretty quickly.)
The first time I moved it was to a medium-security prison. This place had many programs offered to the inmate population. For every program, you pass you get to go home early. I turned my eight into a six and go to go home two years early. The first class I took was an intro to Microsoft Office. I was happy to be out of my cell and on a computer. At that time I knew about Word and Excel but played dumb to get into the class. After that I took an eight-month course Cisco IT essentials. That was in 2016 and we were on desktops with Windows Vista. That was a pivotal point in my incarceration. I loved that class. I loved that we were able to take apart a computer. We. learn about the power supply, electric shock wrist straps, RAM, Motherboard, and much more.
Since 2016 I would get books at the library on coding, HTML, and other IT things. In 2018, The police call me down to their office to see if I could join the dog program. The cop says “Are you here for rape?” No! “You ever abuse animals? No. “ Would ever touch a dog inappropriately? WTF? No!!! He said ok you're in the program. For the first time, I might have a puppy as a cellmate. Before I knew it I was given an eight-week-old puppy. It was like Christmas in June! Teaching a puppy to go to the bathroom outside is a lot of work. I didn't mind, I finally had a purpose. There are fifty-three commands we teach the puppies. Many months later that puppy graduated and was placed at a hospital as a therapy dog for sick kids.
In early 2020 I got another dog and then a few months later covid took him away. Well, the prison was on twenty-four-seven lockdown. It stayed like that until I was released. Once I got out I started college right away. Linux, networking, coding, and PC repair were my first group of classes. In less than two years I earned more than enough college credit for an associate degree in computer science. I am about to take more classes and continue my advocacy work. Purpose in life is huge ( for me at least) and it makes me appreciate all that I’ve worked for. Knowing I will be a convicted felon for the rest of my life isn’t a fun thought, but the connections and relationships I’ve built because of it is priceless.
I could have talked about all the riots and stabbings I witnessed, but cold typed words can’t adequately convey what it's like to see a piece of metal penetrate someone's body and return to the open air with fresh blood on it. The point of my story is that prison is horrible, but it made me the best version of myself that money couldn’t buy ten years earlier.
